I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, if it's real or just an illusion. But at this moment, i really wanna keep you by my side forever. I've really enjoyed your company this whole week.
It's been a damn long time since i've used that word. Long time since i've trusted that it exist.
But i'm afraid, afraid that i'll lose you one day. I don't want those days to come back, those days when i keep hoping to hear from you, where i'll cry myself to sleep, when i wish i was dead then living like this.
I don't want to get hurt again.
I don't want to have to shut myself out from everything again.
I don't want to have to build another stronger mask, i don't think i have the ability to.
I don't want to put on another fake smile, a different, stronger front in front of other people.
I don't want you to change your love for me and love someone else.
I don't want to try to spend my time to stop thinking about you.
I don't want you to change your heart.
I don't want you to leave me.
I don't want to lose you.
I don't want to have to shut myself out from everything again.
I don't want to have to build another stronger mask, i don't think i have the ability to.
I don't want to put on another fake smile, a different, stronger front in front of other people.
I don't want you to change your love for me and love someone else.
I don't want to try to spend my time to stop thinking about you.
I don't want you to change your heart.
I don't want you to leave me.
I don't want to lose you.
I don't mind suffering now and hanging on to all these, as long as i don't lose you. I don't want to do everything i can, give up everything i have, and still lose you in the end like all my past relationships. I'll wait for you. I love you.
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