"How great would it be if i had continued blogging, at least i'd have a space i could rant to right now, it doesn't matter if no one reads it, at least i have a place to write my thoughts without having people being happy i'm going through shit.
For the first post in one year, i'm somehow going to be walking down memory lane. What an irony huh ? It's 3 in the morning, i had no one to talk to, no one to annoy, my thoughts slowly took my hand and walked down memory lane together, which brought me back to you. Yes, you. The man who broke my heart, so badly that it's not hurting anymore. So badly that i told myself i shouldn't be hurting anymore.
Right at this point of time, i'm actually thinking, how were you feeling when you asked me to let you go ? What were you feeling as you slowly walk away from me ? Were you feeling as miserable as i was when you left ? I constantly think about these questions for the past year, i constantly tell myself no matter how much it's killing me inside, i cannot show it out.
Sometimes it makes me wonder how exactly do you tell someone you still love them on one day, and tell them you're leaving and never coming back the next day ? Because i can never do that, because feelings may fade, but it never just disappears like that. How is it that you can bring yourself to tell your heart that you're never gonna see this person that you have feelings for when you claim to still love them, but have no ways to stay anymore ?
Everyone has been through that period where they have a crush on someone and wish they could see this person every single day, isn't that the feeling when you're in love too ? I look for answers within myself, other people, couples, friends, even my current boyfriend, but i never seem to find the answers i was looking for.
Back to present day, no, i'm not staying in the past, i've long let this part of me, of us go. The past gives me a pat and takes me back for a trip all the time, but the pain i've gotten constantly reminds me i have a better present, at least he hasn't hurt me the way you did, and he's one reason why i have to come back to the present.
PS: I have no idea if i should delete all my previous posts or what... *awkward* Shall continue on redesigning my blog tomorrow. It's 6am *freaks out*
Right at this point of time, i'm actually thinking, how were you feeling when you asked me to let you go ? What were you feeling as you slowly walk away from me ? Were you feeling as miserable as i was when you left ? I constantly think about these questions for the past year, i constantly tell myself no matter how much it's killing me inside, i cannot show it out.
Sometimes it makes me wonder how exactly do you tell someone you still love them on one day, and tell them you're leaving and never coming back the next day ? Because i can never do that, because feelings may fade, but it never just disappears like that. How is it that you can bring yourself to tell your heart that you're never gonna see this person that you have feelings for when you claim to still love them, but have no ways to stay anymore ?
Everyone has been through that period where they have a crush on someone and wish they could see this person every single day, isn't that the feeling when you're in love too ? I look for answers within myself, other people, couples, friends, even my current boyfriend, but i never seem to find the answers i was looking for.
Back to present day, no, i'm not staying in the past, i've long let this part of me, of us go. The past gives me a pat and takes me back for a trip all the time, but the pain i've gotten constantly reminds me i have a better present, at least he hasn't hurt me the way you did, and he's one reason why i have to come back to the present.
PS: I have no idea if i should delete all my previous posts or what... *awkward* Shall continue on redesigning my blog tomorrow. It's 6am *freaks out*
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